Dear Friends
The beginning of 2010 is upon us as well as a whole lot of snow. As we all look forward to a 
new year full of new promises and hope, let’s stay mindful of people in our community who will have a tough time finding hope during a long cold winter and a struggling economy. It has been a remarkably harsh winter and it has only just begun. This is an even more difficult time of year to be homeless or struggling to pay heating bills. Please remember that inCOMMON needs winter clothing donations to distribute to our friends out in the cold. These include heavy coats, socks, gloves and long underwear.
inCOMMON has been blessed in 2009 with the efforts of so many individuals, churches and foundations working together to support our friends and neighbors experiencing hard times. inCOMMON recently revived a generous grant from the William and Ruth Scott Family Foundation that will help sustain inCOMMON’s efforts in the community. On top of that, Countryside Community Church’s support of Neighbors United’s new community center will certainly help to create a place where help and guidance can be easily sought. Even though the nights are long and cold and the wind is biting, the passion that inCOMMON’s partners exhibit in helping to warm people’s hearts is enough to melt away the coldest winter.
-Andrew Tonnies, Development Coordinator
CommonGround
A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine was invited to our neighbors’ home. We met this family at the weekly Community Meal. They live in a cozy apartment, the father works for a temporary service, and the mother stays with their daughter who is not yet school age. They came from Mexico to the U.S. around ten years ago, moving to Omaha a few years back. My friend got to their apartment in the afternoon and spent hours chatting, sharing, and laughing. Later they asked him to help them translate some documents, including an application. He noticed they were concerned about something dealing with the application for food and other assistance through the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS). The mother asked, “When will we have to pay back the money we receive?” She said she was warned not to ask for help or financial assistance because someday their daughter would have to pay back all the assistance they receive. My friend promised these warnings were false. They were incredibly relieved to know they could receive food assistance and some medical care, two basic needs that are very difficult to meet.
It was late in the evening when my friend left our neighbors’ apartment with a large papaya in hand. He shared the papaya with me and talked about his time spent with them. I shared in their pain as I heard about their confusion and frustration. I wondered how many others in our neighborhood were given this false information and felt pain not knowing where to turn, and felt afraid to ask for help. However, I also felt joy as we slurped the fruit together and was thankful for abundance and their friendship.
This story reminded me of a moment I shared at the Community Meal this fall. I was eating with a friend who I often eat with every week. One Saturday this friend briefly mentioned something about a sleeping bag, but I did not quite catch the comment. Every week following I asked about what was meant: “Did you need a sleeping bag? Are you getting one? Do you have one?” My questions were sometimes followed by jokes, a headshake, or ignored, and I felt helpless and angry during our conversations. Finally a few weeks later we were sitting together and a note was passed my way. On yellow notebook paper it read, “I really need a warm sleeping bag… Soon!” When I looked up, my friend would not make eye contact with me.
I felt pain when my friend needed something (a sleeping bag) and I could not understand what it was. I felt ashamed with how quickly I thought about avoiding the situation or my friend when I could not get through. However, I also felt joy when finally we had shared enough time together, because we became honest with one another.
Both of these experiences reminded me of Jean Vanier’s words in From Brokenness to Community. Here he describes what it means to live in community; “Community is a wonderful place, it is life-giving; but it is also a place of pain because it is a place of truth and of growth – the revelation of our pride, our fear, and our brokenness… Community means to be with someone and to discover that we actually belong together.”
November and December are notorious for sharing our abundance and for giving gifts, often in the form of material goods. In the last two months, we’ve received gifts of clothing, toiletries, food donations, financial assistance, etc. Vanier’s words reminded me that sometimes it is easier to give goods and services or to “help” our neighbors rather than enter into relationship with them. “To love someone is not first of all to do things for them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value. We all know well that we can do things for others and in the process crush them, making them feel that they are incapable of doing things by themselves.”
The greatest challenge is sharing ourselves because it involves a commitment, a friendship, and a relationship. But it is also the most fulfilling feeling when we enter into relationship with one another, because we learn that we actually belong together.
- Caitie Caughey, Community Advocate
